Is This My Job?

As expected, U.S. News & World Report's Best Careers 2008 lists Engineers, Registered nurses and Systems analysts as some of the 31 careers with the brightest futures.

Browsing through the list, I quickly see that there are a number of careers for which I will never be qualified. The time has passed for me to be an Audiologist, a Dentist or a Physician Assistant. The odds of me being a Firefighter, Optometrist or Genetic counselor are low.

In fact, what I do for a living is not on the list of 31 Careers with Bright Futures. Instead, I find that my occupation – Advertising executive – in the list of 13 Most Overrated Careers.

U.S. News is very quick to point out that this list of overrated careers is subjective and that many people are very happy in these careers. They are also equally quick to highlight the vast number of resources they have used to come up with this evaluation including, “confidential counseling sessions with 2,600 people over a period of two decades.”

I guess I’m not completely surprised that Advertising is listed as one of the most overrated careers. Advertising is one of the few occupations (along with Acting) that epitomizes overrated. Advertising gives the every day, to steal a phrase from U.S. News, “a mystique that exceeds reality.” In what world would a pimply teenager who wears a particular brand of cologne get four hot chicks to come over for a pizza? But put it on an ad and sales of cologne go up.

U.S. News writes that the reason for having a list of overrated careers is that, “People pick careers for many reasons, including some bad ones.” I suppose that many people may pick the other careers on the list (e.g. teacher or physician) but in talking to advertising folk I meet in and out of the office, I find that most of us in advertising these days have simply stumbled on to this path.

We are artists, novelists, screenwriters, musicians, poets and film makers. We dreamed about making an impact on this world with our art. We wanted to say something that would make a difference in this life. We wanted to tell stories.

Instead, we find ourselves selling toilet paper and soda pop. Some of us sell cars. Some of us simply sell ideas. Can you imagine how ridiculous that sounds to any one else outside of this world? I sell ideas. Wait… you mean how something can be done? Nope, not HOW it can be done, but just the THOUGHT that it can.

And yet, we stay in this world. I dare say that we even enjoy it. Maybe it's because we are artsy and creative that we are also eternal idealists. And it’s this idealism that keeps us going.

We still believe our art has impact -- it's just that instead of hanging in a gallery it's now hanging off an office building downtown.

We still believe that we tell stories – no matter that these stories are a mere thirty-seconds, are often played while people go get a snack, or to the bathroom and now, thanks to modern technology, can simply be zapped through with a push of a button.

There’s even a small part of us that really believes we make a difference -- after all, isn't the soccer mom’s life is so much better now that she has bought the softer, fluffier brand of toilet paper?

And so, we soldier on in this strange world called Advertising. We find ways to make an impact. Perhaps we can never change world opinion about war or poverty, but we can create new technologies to highlight those causes. We do our best to make a difference. For every ad that glamorizes the Decadent Life, we try to put one out there that embraces the Every Man. But most of all, we find ways to tell stories. Stories about you, me and the world around us. In these ways the artists, novelists, screenwriters, musicians, poets and film makers in us feed and yes, even flourish.

Like almost everyone I know, I stumbled into this career. As a Film and Women’s Studies Major fresh out of college, Advertising was the occupation that would pay the bills. Seven years later, I find that it’s the only occupation I’m trained for. And it still pays the bills – very well, I might add.

Now, if it were just about the bills, there would be no quandary. This would be just a job, plain and simple. But this is also an occupation that deals with subjectivity, creativity and human nature, three things I am passionately intrigued by. And so, I find myself in a love-hate relationship with Advertising.

There are days when Advertising sucks me dry and spits me out, leaving me blurry eyed and confused as I meander home from the office. These are the days I wonder if I’m a sell-out and whether I really need to have a full refrigerator.

And then there are days I think about how Advertising responds to and informs who we are. And I remember that I am part of a bigger movement of creativity – one that, in spite of every negative thing associated with it, still leaves the world with a little bit more magic.

But most of all, I think about stories – the ones I get to create, the ones I get to tell and the ones I have become a part of.


Want to see what I do for a living? Click here for a glamorized version:
This Is So Not What My Job Is Like

Spring Is...

The start of wedding season.

I wouldn't be Cafe Girl if I didn't have several Absurd Thoughts on the topics of love and marriage. Unfortunately, daily living (work, bills, laundry, errands, cleaning, sleep) has taken priority for now.

Blogging will have to wait, but you will not. While I'm wading through this Absurd Life, enjoy an Oldie But Goodie from 2006.

Form Letter To Single Wedding Guests

Facebook and Me

Confession: I am a Facebook Addict
I didn’t start this way. I had a Facebook account for work purposes only. Really. I was trying to figure out how this social networking thing worked. Darn this thing called Web 2.0.

But now here I am, logging onto Facebook on a daily basis. Looking for updates, for who just became friends with whom, for the many applications out there that can tell me where I should live, what my favorite movie is and when I’m going to get married.

I loathe my addiction. You wouldn’t know it by how many times I log into Facebook in a day. I’m not proud of myself. Just like I’m not proud of myself for having a brownie smothered with ice cream at lunch.

Facebook CreepingUrban dictionary defines this as going on Facebook to look at people’s profiles, photos, their friends list and their friends’ friends lists. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what else you would use Facebook for. I believe this would qualify me as a Facebook Creeper.

If you’ve found this blog entry from my Facebook profile page, it is very likely that I’ve looked at your Profile page, seen who your friends are and how you know them, examined your pictures and judged you by your Aps. I’m also assuming you’ve done the same to me. I hope you don’t think I’m actually creepy. I promise, if you have me over to your apartment, I wouldn’t go through your medicine cabinet.

Facebook EnvyFacebook is a minefield for those who are prone to the deadly sin of envy. There’s always going to be someone who has better profile pictures, more friends and wittier status updates.

Looking at posted photographs I wonder why I don’t get invited to parties where I dance with a drink in my hand, why I don’t wander the beach in a bikini or why I don’t get flowers sent to me on Facebook or otherwise. There are good reasons why all of the above don’t happen. But that’s not what I think about as I browse Facebook – I’m too busy wondering if I stack up.

I’m also busy wondering why you have time to update your Facebook status, post news stories and accept new friends, but not answer any of my e-mails. Of course, I’m not answering your e-mails either… I’ve been sucked into a Facebook binge.

Some Facebook Statistics
Number of “Friends” on Facebook: 73
Number of Actual Friends I Keep in Touch with on a Regular Basis: 3
Most Bizarre Friend Request: Animation Magazine

Number of Applications Sent to me by “Friends”: Countless
Number of Applications Accepted: 3
Number of Applications I’ve Sent: 1 – by accident
Application I'm Secretly Fascinated with: When Will You Get Married -- How can you tell? Why does this Ap even exist? Actually, why do three Aps by this title exist?
Most Useful Ap So Far: Flog Blog

Number of Times I've Changed My Profile Picture: 3
Currently Profile Picture: Cartoon of me

Something About Facebook I Forget: EVERYONE in my network can see my profile page, even people I don’t know

It Is What It Is

I've been catching myself saying "It is what it is" more than I like.

These days, I use the phrase like a punch line, ending my stories with a cheery "Well, it is what it is!" I want to do jazz hands as I say this. I'm waiting for the rimshot followed by a laugh track.

On the surface, "It is what it is" sounds so positive. People who have come to terms use that line. These are balanced, healthy people who recognize that some situations are beyond their control. These are the people that make the best of every circumstance. These are the people who learn things. These are the people who are guests on Oprah.

When I first started saying "It is what it is" I was determined to be one of those come-to-terms people. I wanted to look at situations honestly, recognize what I could fix and what, no matter how hard I tried, I could do nothing about. Surely accepting situations I could not change was a sign of emotional health. After all, isn't one of the lines of the famous serenity prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change?"

Except, "It is what it is" can also be a very complacent statement. It is what it is, nothing can be changed. It is what it is, so why bother? It is what it is, so let's eat our body weight in cake. "It is what it is" paints a picture of impossibility, of circumstances too large, of obstacles too beyond our control. "It is what it is" gives us an excuse to let things stay exactly the way they are, even when we don't like it. And even, though we'll hate to admit it, when something could possibly be done.

Nowadays, I find myself using, "It is what it is" like a band aid. I take disappointment, dissatisfaction and disgruntledness and try to cover it up with an overly cavalier, "It is what it is." Sometimes I use "It is what it is" like a shield -- when I'm trying to avoid sympathy, or as I see it, pity. Often, I use "It is what it is" when I'm truly apologetic for up-chucking my crappy day all over the person I've been talking to. I secretly hope that by saying, "It is what it is" in a chipper, high-pitched tone, the person would somehow believe I'm actually quite ok and won't have to worry about me.

Truth is, there are things that will probably never change for me. I'll probably always be this side of insecure, wondering if those around me truly love me for who I am. I know this. I've had therapy around this. I have tools to handle this. To these unchangeables I say, "It is what it is."

There are other things that are merely circumstantial. Crazy work schedules, long distance relationships, missing loved ones. I know these things will not be forever. And it's this mantra of "not forever, not forever, not forever" that keeps me going. To these circumstances I say with confidence, "It is what it is... for now."

But there is always a list of things that are in that grey area. Are these issues permanent? Possibly. Are these situations beyond my control? Perhaps. Could anything be done on my part to change anything? Maybe. To these items that ebb and flow in the grey, I'd like to learn how to have a different outlook. I'd still like to examine, to consider and to come to terms. But I'd also like to ask prayerfully and thoughtfully, "Is it what it really is?"

Dear Los Angeles...

Has it been six months since we've been with each other? Already? Really?

Would you allow me just one cliche? It seemed like just yesterday that I came to you, slightly bedraggled from a four-hour flight and you wrapped your warmness around me, charming me with your sunny weather. For a girl from the perpetually wintry Chicago, you were Prince Charming.

Yes, dear LA, we are officially in the throes of a relationship. We're definitely past the honeymoon stage -- those first three months where everything is shiny and new, where I laugh at all your jokes, where your quirks are endearing.

And yet, we're not quite at the familiar stage. I still long to impress you, carefully selecting my outfits, putting on makeup and worrying that my beat-up old station wagon will make you think less of me. But I suppose that's not uncommon in a relationship. You always start with your best foot forward. And I must admit, you've done the same for me.

I'm impressed with your repertoire of friends. The people you know! How, for instance, did you meet Plastic Cowboy Hat Man? He's a hoot, always showing up around my dumpster, offering to help me carry things up the stairs or move boxes out of my way. And Old Man Peeing Into A Bush? Did you tell him to do that for me? Priceless. You know who else I love? Girl With Small Dog Inside Small Purse. How does she always know where to find me? She's so open too -- always eager to share her cell phone conversations with those around her. But I think my personal favorite among all of your friends is Guy With Too Big Motor Vehicle. Just watching tiptoe to look into his own passenger seat window makes me smile.

You always know where the best restaurants are. You don't judge my never ending desire for fine ethnic food and designer coffee. In fact, you encourage it by showering me with Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Cuban, Caribbean and Greek restaurants on my street. And Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf with its sugar-free mocha and vanilla ice-blendeds? You're too good to me.

You spoil me with a Trader Joe's on every corner. How would I be able to make my food budget stretch so far if not for its $0.99 pasta sauces, $1.20 frozen veggies and affordable gourmet cheeses? And the array of wines. Who knew a $6.00 bottle of wine could be so good? My Friday nights have never been the same since.

By the way, those long walks on the beach and watching the sun set? Those orange and pink skies at twilight? The roar of the ocean against the distant cry of seagulls? Gotta hand it to you-- pretty smooth. You know what a girl likes and you sure know how to deliver.

Am I gushing? I'm gushing aren't I? Gosh, this is embarrassing. I never thought I'd be one of those girls -- all starry-eyed and giggly just because she's in some new relationship. Like that's gonna last.

But honest-to-goodness truth? Because we're working towards a lasting relationship and all? I've seen the red-flags. I know I should always have an open mind, but there are things about you that bother me.

That unpredictable traffic situation of yours? Not attractive. I mean, traffic happens everyday, don't you think you'd be in better control of it after all this time? And why all the craziness when it rains? You gotta work on adapting to change, my dear.

And those friends of yours, the ones who are so fun to be around? Not so good with the showing up. Or keeping commitments. Or saying yes to things that involve them being at a designated place at a designated time. You know, the friends you choose say a lot about who you are. The fact that your friends are sort of flaky -- worrying.

Also, your exes have been telling on you. Granted, when relationships sour you have to take these stories with a grain of salt. But all your exes have been telling me that you're little superficial. And worse, that you're often unreliable. Sometimes you say you're going to do something and then don't. One of your exes even told me you made promises you never intended to keep. I don't know what happened between you and her, but suffice to say, she is not happy with you.

I guess what concerns me the most is where this relationship is really going. I mean, the funny friends, restaurants and fine wine are great and all. But at some point, there's got to be something more, you know? We've got to be able to grow together, to learn from one another and see each other for who we really are, good and not-so-good.

But I'm not going to dash ahead of myself here. I've never been one of those girls who decides that if there's no proposal after the third date, she's outta there. I'm not a believer in love at first sight. I like taking it slow. I love the process of getting to know you better, being surprised by the unexpected. After all, if I immediately knew you were The One, what fun would that be?