The Absurd and Amazing Adventures of Cafe Girl: I Hope I Get A Little "Monkey Business"

January 17, 2007

I Hope I Get A Little "Monkey Business"

I saw a news article on Yahoo today that I found oddly endearing.

In Shreveport, LA, in a place called Chimp Haven, Teresa a wild born chimpanzee in her late forties gave birth to a baby girl. The "surprise" was that Teresa had been living in a group of sterilized male chimps.

Chimp Haven, as it turns out, is a long-term care facility for chimpanzees who are no longer needed for laboratory research. Teresa, who'd had ten offspring before this, had retired to Chimp Haven about a year ago. She hadn't had a baby in thirteen years.

Far from being an immaculate conception, keepers at Chimp Haven are testing each of the males to see who is the father. Then, according to the article, "it's back to the operating room for him."

Alright, maybe that part of the story isn't so sweet.

Nonetheless, the story gave me hope. I love the idea of a long term care facility for lab chimps. I find this an appropriate way to give back to the lab chimp population, who've no doubt endured experiments that must have appeared to them strange and bizarre. I like that lab chimps have a place to go and don't have to be put to sleep. It gives me hope that there is still some sort of humanity left in the world that we can care for lab chimps. I don't really like animals, but I'm of the firm belief that you don't just utilize something (or sometimes someone) and abandon them after you're done. Lab chimps certainly fall into that category of "something" (or is it "someone"?)

Also, a forty-year-old chimp giving birth after a thirteen year gap, while cavorting with apparently sterile males, gives me hope that nothing is impossible. Hey, if monkeys are getting it on and re-producing even after they have been sterilized, there's no reason why I, a reasonably bright human being, with excellent emotional health, and in a community full of fertile young men, can't eventually find the love of my life, settle down, and have children of my own. I'd like to think we're a little more advanced than the primates, yes?

And there's the bad girl part of me that wants to cheer for Teresa the Chimp. Good for her, getting a little monkey-lovin' after retirement. I hope that if I'm ever in a long term care facility that I'd still be spry, and happy, and sexy enough to get into a little monkey business.

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