The Absurd and Amazing Adventures of Cafe Girl: The Universe Would Like Me To Know

April 25, 2007

The Universe Would Like Me To Know

I believe the Universe is trying to send me a message.
The Universe, being the kind of large, organic entity that it is, rarely sends direct messages. She’s much more into the wink, the subtle hints and, occasionally, the elbow nudge. This is why it’s often easy to miss messages from the Universe.
I think the Universe has been trying to get my attention for a while and I’ve just been painfully oblivious to it all. The spilling of my morning Starbucks all over my desk—wink from the universe. My increasing anger at the blatant misuse of the “Reply All” button in work e-mail— subtle hint.
But the big elbow nudge happened this week.
About 2 weeks ago, I signed up for a beginner’s Spanish class at the local high school. The class was due to start on April 30th and run for 12 weeks, every Monday evening.
Come Monday, I make it a point to leave work on time. I navigate the train and all the traffic and still, I'm running late. Then I get lost in the building. After 15 minutes of frustrating meandering, I finally find the classroom.
I walk in, obviously late. The class has a teacher and two students, all of whom are staring at me. I’m suddenly embarrassed. I say something about getting lost in the building. And the teacher looks at me and goes, “Are you here for Spanish class?”
To which I reply, “Yes, I am.”
One of the students says, “The class is ending.”
Now I’m really confused. Surely I’m not that late. “Doesn’t it start at seven?”
“Yes,” the other student replies, “But this is the last class of the session.”
“Wait,” I say, still very confused, “Doesn’t the class start April 30th?”
“Yes,” said the teacher, “But today is April 24th.”
And she’s right. It’s Monday April 24th. I’d spent the day thinking that it was a whole week later than it really was.
That’s when I realized the Universe is definitely sending me a message. And the message is this, “You need to chill.”

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