Five Things I Learned In September

#1 I can be quite a bitch.Turns out, it's not that hard. It surprised me too, but I do have an Inner Bitch. When provoked enough, I can be ruthless and cold. I will have no qualms about turning my back, looking straight through you and pretending like you don't exist. And on top of that, I can cut you down with one finely chosen word, and I won't even bat an eye, or feel a moment of remorse. In fact, I might even enjoy it. Now, granted, it takes a lot to get me to that place, but that place exists. I never knew that about myself. But there you are, I can be a bitch. Who knew?

#2 Memories can be replaced.I don't say that with any delight. In fact, this was one of the saddest things I learned this month. No matter how tender, how beautiful, how precious the memory, a new memory can always be made. A memory, once replaced, fades ever so slightly, and moves one step closer to gone. When the memory is gone, it's like it never happened. Sometimes, not remembering may be for the best, but it's still immensely sad. The thought made me cry.

#3 I have no choice but to be me.That's right. Me. Me with the quirky sense of humor, with the lack of shame, who has no filter and will say almost anything to anyone. The me who will ask you inappropriate, yet brutally honest questions because I genuinely want to know. The me who cares for people, takes care of them, and tries to be accepting of those around me, no matter where in life they are at. I have no choice but to be me because that's the only me I know how to be. But the good thing is that's the me I like. I would hope that those who do come in contact with me would see that I'm special and that they are not going to find anyone that's like me. I like to think of myself as an acquired taste. It's not for everyone, but once you've tasted and you've seen, it'll be hard to go back to the everyday.

#4 I should never ride the Ferris Wheel at the Santa Monica Pier.
Ever again. Trouble happens when I ride the Ferris Wheel. Fun trouble, delightful trouble, wicked good trouble, but trouble nonetheless. And that is all I will say about that.

#5 I'm pretty great.
Alright, so I may not be young and spry. I may not look at you with wide-eyed wonder as if you're the best thing on earth. I may not ever nod prettily and declare "Amen!" and "Hallelujah" at everything you say. But damn it, I am so much better than that Silly Young Thing you all seem to be so enamored it. Want to know why? Because I'm A WHOLE PERSON. I am smart as hell, wickedly funny, and damn sexy. I know the meaning to words that Silly Young Thing can't even pronounce. I'm not just talking New York Times cross word puzzle words. I'm talking words that will make a grown man blush. And I don't make promises I can't keep. Think about that. So, to all the boys out there who have ever dismissed me because, for whatever ridiculous reason, you didn't think I was 'enough,' I say, F-you. For every one of you, there are two others who are smarter, better looking, more mature and richer than you. They will be more than happy to go out with me and treat me like the lady (or maybe not so much of a lady) that I am. In fact, they already have.